Funny Wedding Officiant Speech Meeting Story
Here's to the happy couple
A good comedy ends in marriage—and a good marriage should be full of comedy. Whether you are the bride or groom, a best man or maid of honor, or simply the sort of friend or relative who can't resist the chance to speak your heart and mind (that is, drunk), the greatest gift you can bring to any wedding ceremony is a well-rehearsed wedding speech that is light, fun, and hopeful. Leave the tired gags about bossy wives or disloyal husbands at the door, and peg your thoughts instead to that one form of humor all wedding guests can revel in: Stupid, stupid puns.
Below, find 26 short wedding puns guaranteed to make even grandma laugh—plus a smattering of funny marriage quotes that don't once use the phrase "mother-in-law" to get a laugh. Congratulations, and cheers! Plus, don't miss our favorite funny jokes about married life.
Speech-worthy wedding puns for any crowd:
Did you hear about the two spiders who just got engaged? I hear they met on the web. Check out these relationship tweets that are hysterically accurate.
Cannon balls
Two cannon balls got married this morning. I hear they're already expecting BBs. If you're heading to a wedding soon, give the new couple one of the best wedding gifts they'll cherish forever.
What a reception
Did you hear about the two cell phones who got married? The reception was terrific.
Nuclear love
I just saw two nuclear technicians getting married. The bride was radiant and the groom was glowing.
Mr. Write
Did you hear about the notebook who married a pencil? She finally found Mr. Write.
Perfectly suited
Do you know why the King of Hearts married the Queen of Hearts? They were perfectly suited to each other.
Nothing to see here
It's been ten years since the invisible man married the invisible woman. Their kids are nothing to look at either.
Not my type
Why did Comic Sans break up with Times New Roman? He just wasn't her type.
Cable split-up
Unfortunately, the jumper cables are getting a divorce. They just didn't have that spark.
Speech-worthy wedding quotes for any crowd:
"To keep your marriage brimming with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up." —Ogden Nash
Ride the waves
"You don't need to be on the same wavelength to succeed in marriage. You just need to be able to ride each other's waves." —Toni Sciarra Poynter
Falling over and over
"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, and always with the same person." —Mignon McLaughlin.
Singing the same tune
"A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time." —Anne Taylor Fleming
Dress the part
"A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together." —James H. Boren
Feel the love
"Love is a lot like a backache; It doesn't show up on X-Rays, but you know it's there." —George Burns.
Supplemental love
"Marriage is like vitamins: We supplement each other's minimum daily requirements." —Kathy Mohnke
That's one way to prepare
"I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry." —Rita Rudner
Late-night fights
"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight." —Phyllis Diller
Share a snack
"Love is sharing your popcorn." —Charles Schulz
Share the joy
"To get the full value of joy, you must have someone to divide it with." – Mark Twain.While you're thinking about including this quote in your speech, take a look at the 10 luckiest wedding traditions from around the world for inspiration, too
Originally Published: May 16, 2019
Source: https://www.rd.com/list/wedding-jokes/
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